{"product_id":"fake-your-death-shirt","title":"'Fake Your Death' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eOpossums have been doing this for millennia. Play dead, the predator loses interest, life continues. This opossum has updated the technique for modern threats: get hit by a car, become legally undead, transcend bureaucracy. An elegant solution. Full commitment to the bit. A masterclass in dodging your responsibilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose fight-or-flight response skipped both and went straight to opossum protocol.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg\u003e\u003cimg\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eBust Circumference\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eShoulder Width\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eGarment Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSleeve Length\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eRecommended Height (cm)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eRecommended Weight (KG)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e92\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e43\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e155-165\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45-55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e98\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e68\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e165-172\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55-65\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e104\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e170-175\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e65-75\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e110\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e175-182\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e75-85\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e118\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e77\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e180-190\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e85-100\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e124\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e80\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e190-200\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e100-115\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"mysite","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":47910492700835,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-S","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":47910492733603,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-M","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":47910492766371,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-L","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":47910492799139,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47910492831907,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-2XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":47915176886435,"sku":null,"price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0760\/6036\/0867\/files\/Fake_Your_Death_Shirt.jpg?v=1784613704","url":"https:\/\/unshackledapparel.store\/products\/fake-your-death-shirt","provider":"Unshackled Apparel","version":"1.0","type":"link"}